Y’all, I have a real sassy mouth, but I try to be a very nice person. I don’t engage with people I don’t like because I’m too tired to be fake. I don’t need validation from anyone, so I don’t kiss ass.

I recently heard (again) that I come off as intimidating. Not to the person that told me because they’ve known me all my life, but I’ve heard it a lot. It didn’t hurt my feelings at all.

But it’s been bouncing around in my brain because I don’t know why I present this way. It’s never my intention, and I have been told many, many times that I’m snobby. My bank account says I can’t afford to be snobby, but anyway.

I always try to be kind, and I am quietly helpful to a lot of people without blasting it all over socials for clout that I don’t need. My light bill is paid so I don’t do this for clicks. This perception of me confused me, and I was curious.

So I did what I always do and asked why.

Here's what some of the people who have known me or watched me on socials for a long time had to say:

“You’re not intimidating. They’re intimidated. There’s a difference.”

“One thing about you, you don’t suffer fools. People that find you intimidating may want to check on that.”

“You’ve always been someone who owns who they are. Like, just in being yourself and not apologizing for the space you take up when you express your opinions and ideas. That’s a terrifying thing to people who are always trying to just blend in and not make any waves.”

“It’s a mix of no fucks given, passionate mama bear, crass humour, and intelligent af.”

So basically, I’m big scary because I’m just myself, I’m smart, and I don’t like wasting time on stupid people. None of this sounds like anything I need to “fix” and it’s not a “me” problem. If you also hear this from others (as a lot of my strong personality friends also told me they experience this), then it’s probably because you’re smart, unapologetic, and authentic.

In my book, that’s nothing to apologize for.